I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
