There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
