I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
