He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
