Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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