Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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