:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
