Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He? As in you personified your dick?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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