I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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