is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
