I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
