Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
