So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
