How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
