and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
