I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
