Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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