You can't motorboat a personality
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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