im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
