Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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