Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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