I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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