I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
