I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
