SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am midnight drunk by noon
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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