He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
