Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
