Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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