i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
where are you?
Hypothermia
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
