somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dick very happy bro
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
