Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
