put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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