No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Damn victory sex feels great
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
