She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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