Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
