Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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