i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
