I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
