My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But break dance skills will only take you so far
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
