Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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