My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
