you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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