Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
