On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
