The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
