the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
