NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
