She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
