he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
