it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
