I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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