I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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