i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
